When Is Violence OK?

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As people wonder whether or not Jay-z was right or wrong by not defending himself in his attack by his wife’s sister,  Solange Knowles. Many have already taken to calling him a punk, assuming he would have been well within his rights to defend himself by hitting her back with the manner in which she conducted herself; slapping, hitting and kicking him. But I must say, personally I am beyond proud of Jay-Z by not striking her back, as I am sure he knows that match would not have been a fair one.

I am sure Jay-Z knows by him being a 6 foot 4 male and Solange being a 5 foot 6 female, given the physical strength men have over women, the damage he could have done to her would be no match for the damage she attempted to do to him, I am also positive that Jay-Z knew his life was not in any real danger as his wife and also his body guards were present. I applaud you Sean Carter.

But this discussion has brought up many unanswered questions like “when is it OK for a man to hit a woman?” or “is it ever OK for a man to hit a woman?”  Personally my answer is NO, it is never ok for a man to hit a woman. Yes, I understand a lot of people do not wish to raise their boys as “punks” and to defend themselves against whoever attacks them first even if that “whoever” is a woman. I do not understand this logic as in a REAL battle both opponents should be equal in strength.

Why would retaliatory violence against someone who he knows could never equate to his strength be OK?  for a man, does being hit by a woman raise so much humiliation and anger that he must resort to something he knows will do more harm than good?

And I am definitely not saying all men should suffer and be abused at the hands of women if that is the case, of course if she is wielding objects at your head or is just plain crazy then by all means, defend yourself. What I am saying is, Men vs Women violence will never be fair and will probably always remains a double standard. Since patriarchy has deemed women weak and inferior and men strong and superior, A man will always be in the wrong when it comes placing hands on a woman.

Some men like to argue that because there are some women who can fight men, and be actually be successful at beating him. That it is OK to retaliate and hit a woman. But lets be realistic, those women come few and far between and it not safe to assume that because there maybe a small group of women who can fight men that all women are successful at it. That is not a valid justification for why a man should be able to hit a woman. That’s like saying because we have a black president, that black people are now treated equal and there is no more need for protests or affirmative action.

There was an incident where a man did the right thing in his case of spousal abuse, and pressed charges on his female abuser. He lost the case. The courts wouldn’t take him being abused and not reacting to her seriously, where I am sure if he did react and hit the woman back, then the courts would have been on her side and thrown him in jail. Oh how that double standard sward of patriarchy stabs again.

The only way the repercussions for woman abusers will be equal to the repercussions for men abusers is if men began suffering spousal abuse in equal numbers or surpassing women and even surpassing the numbers for man vs man violence. Its terrible that this is maybe the reality of things but as it is often put, it is what it is! Hitting someone should never be the answer for any kind of circumstance if you are not ready for that person to retaliate.

Solange and many other women like her are extremely lucky that a man did not retaliate and attempt to really hurt her/them while she was initiating the attack,  women should be very careful and watch their actions when angry or arguing with man, for everyone else may not handle those punches and slaps as kindly as Jay-Z did.

4 thoughts on “When Is Violence OK?

  1. I’m glad you pointed that out. We seem to be the only people noticing that as hard as she went on him, the real power shown was in Jay-Z’s self discipline. No matter how much he may have been provoked, he refrained from responding with violence. Kudos to Jay and to you for writing this article.

  2. Does this question still stand with the events going on in America right now? The fight for water in Detroit and surrounding areas, the Ferguson shooting, the beating of the woman by a police officer, the young man shot for holding a toy gun in Walmart?

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